Hunting for Jesus

This morning I AM AWAKE VERY EARLY after going to bed VERY LATE. Al Green's song "Jesus Is Waiting" is playing in my head before I got up and now in my headphones. Here I sit guided by a strong predisposition to write. As'f this article has already been written. (As'f is my new favorite made up word :))

Last night I glanced at an article in a newspaper at DENNY'S (full moon :)). It was about how the Boone & Crockett club of Missoula, Montana had recently given their concurrence that the world's largest antlered Bull Elk is now dead and is a new world record for big game.

This morning in an ordinary epiphany I connected the Al Green song with this dead elk. What is the aggressive thirst to nail down forms; to control rather than to allow? This must be why so many artists either wind up insane, dead too soon, or religious. Once the inability to attain anything with FORM dawns as a reality, then the formless eternity of God is the next logical hunt.

I have mentioned before in this blog my theory of THE CROSS; the VERTICAL or INNER aspect of art which deals with spiritual practice and fulfillment; the HORIZONTAL or OUTER aspect that deals with knowledge and skill in action. But I found the third and crucial element, THE INTERSECTION, in this amazing piece in THE POCKET ZEN READER translated by Thomas Cleary.

INWARD AND OUTWARD VIEWS

To cling to oneself as Buddha, oneself
as Zen or the Way, making that an un-
derstanding, is called clinging to the inward
view.

Attainment by causes and conditions,
practice and realization, is called the out-
ward view,

Master Pao-chih said, "The inward view
and the outward view are both mistaken."

Pao Chih also says in this book,
"Just seek nothing at all, and afflictions will naturally fall away"

Listening

This morning as I was playing tabla I was sitting in front of a mirror as I usually do to check out my fingering and posture. For some reason I squinted my eyes and it had the effect of me watching someone else play tabla.

I am not necessarily endorsing squinting into a mirror as a technique, but what occurred to me was the unbelievable gift of being able to hear yourself OBJECTIVELY.

Tape recording and video taping are good tools to utilize because they provide that objectivity but it is after the fact and while useful for future performances the feedback does nothing for what has already happened.

It is imperative that one is able to hear oneself objectively in the MOMENT. Sometimes when I am playing live I close my eyes and listen to the entirety of the band and then I focus on myself in the context of the band and I ask myself "Would I like what the drummer was doing if this was a recording of another band?" If the answer is no then I must find a deeper way to be in support of the music.

A shocking revelation I had is that whatever I hear, everyone hears. Maybe not in the same way, but it is crucial to learn how to deliver your instrument in the way in which you like to hear it played. This requires patience, practice, and self forgiveness. As Beckett says "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better."

The vertical dimension of drumming is endless. Listen deeper deeper and deeper with less and less and less of yourself until when you are playing live it is like you are listening to music on a stereo.

Athletic Dimension of Drumming.

Study: Drummers Are "Top Atheletes"

The Cross

Here is the formula for ecstatic drumming HORIZONTAL = VERTICAL.

Horizontal= Gear, books, lessons, teachers, knowledge, notes, gigs, concerts, connections, business, collaboration... all of the tangibles or externals of drumming.

Vertical= Heart, Emotions, ritual, spiritual energy, body, breath, silence between notes, awareness, consciousness, lifestyle, posture, yoga, meditation... all of the foundational internal elements that ground the Horizontal in depth of awareness.

So the formula (similar to Einstein's technology v. spiritual development of society) is that every step in the horizontal linear path of learning and knowledge should be complimented by a deepening of consciousness and spiritual grounding in the NOW.

Horizontal and vertical together make a cross. To me the Cross symbolizes freedom, paradox and the FOUR LIMBS of drumming.

The intersection of the Cross is the hub of silence, the fifth limb (Voice) THE HEART or better yet THE BALLS where all good drumming and breathing originates from and is sustained by.

These are the ruminations I came up with this morning as I played Teen Tal Kaida #1 continuously for an hour.

SING. DRUM. BE FREE :) consistently!